"Conjoined Fetus Lady" is episode 205 of Comedy Central's series South Park. It originally aired on June 3, 1998.

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This article contains plot details about an upcoming episode.


In this episode, the boys meet Nurse Gollum, the South Park Elementary nurse. They are horrified to discover that she has a dead fetus attached to her face, due to a (fictional) condition called "Conjoined Twin Myslexia." Upon hearing about this and the boys making fun of her, Kyle's mom Sheila decides to help the woman, and forms "Conjoined Twin Myslexia Week", a special week devoted to everyone with the disease, with "everyone" being Nurse Gollum by herself.

Meanwhile, the school dodgeball team becomes eligible for competitions and goes on to fight the State Competition in Denver, the Nationals in Washington, D.C., and finally goes to China for the World Championship. In the State competition, South Park is able to win because Pip, the British exchange student, becomes filled with rage whenever kids make fun of him or incorrectly call him "French", giving him the strength to take down the other team. In the National competition, the Washington, D.C. team forfeits because of their fear of the inevitable international opponent, China. In China, South Park discovers the Chinese kids to be unstoppable, and the team is crushed (Kenny is crushed against a wall) until only Pip remains.

Pip manages to win when the one of the American kids tricks the Chinese into calling him French; he single-handedly decimates the entire Chinese team with a single throw, but by this point everyone has decided they don't want to play dodgeball anyway, so he doesn't get any credit for anything. Back home, the townspeople have donned hats that make them appear to have fetuses on their faces, held a parade for Nurse Gollum and videotaped her constantly. She angrily declares that she does not want any extra attention or special treatment, and that by doing so they make her feel singled out. She says she only wants to be harassed and ridiculed just like everybody else in the town and storms away. The adults think she is ungrateful, but the kids begin to question if the fetus actually makes her smarter.

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